You know those bands. The ones who seem to be celebrities in their own minds, saying things like “Make sure you show up by 5:30pm to beat the line which will be around the block and obstructing traffic by 6!,” or “Tickets are selling at an alarming rate so you should probably go ahead and order a dozen now JUST TO BE SAFE!” The ones who sincerely believe every show they play is a momentous occasion (”This is our 17th show so come help us celebrate!” “Please come to our show on December 30th… It will be your LAST CHANCE to see us this year!“). The ones who promise you a mind-blowing, life changing musical experience when you hear the new song they’ve been working on all month (”We can’t wait for you to hear our skull-crushing new jam, influenced by Schoenberg’s early period, the paintings of Frida Kahlo, and Kanye West!“)

Well, we’ve employed all of these tactics and more in the past, but this time around we’re going to stay true to the perfect blend of sarcasm and sincerity that has become our trademark [Ed. Note: Shut up, Matthew.] and we’re just going to come right out with it.

We’re playing a show at the Paradise Rock Club on December 3rd, 2009. We’re opening for Nitzer Ebb. We are OMG EXCITED about this show and really really really want you to come.

Okay, tune in next week for the next installment of How To Market Your Band Effectively. The subject of that lecture will be “How To Not Appear Desperate When Promoting Yourself, or NO REALLY I’LL TOTALLY BLOW YOU IF YOU COME TO THE PARADISE ON 12/3!!!!!”

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